There are lots of perceptions about what coaching is. Some wrongly think it's about the coach providing instructions or advice. I'm not a midwife so I certainly can't give you advice on midwifery. If you need a sounding board around anything specifically midwifery you can get that through the free hours of Sage Support.
So what can you get from coaching? The definition of coaching that I like the most is that your coach is a "thinking partner". You lead the direction and as your coach I can help you explore your options - then you decide what steps to take and when. Combining my coaching, business and management skills means that I can certainly help you work through a wide range of challenges faced by many midwives.
I've adapted a guide produced by NHS on how to get the most out of having coach. I hope this will provide you with more of a flavor for how working with a coach might feel.
Contact us if you have any questions about coaching and how you might benefit by having your own coach.
WAYS TO GET THE MOST FROM YOUR COACHING
Coaching is a two-way thinking process involving coach and client as equal partners; the more active a part you take in the process the better the outcomes are likely to be for you. Here some ideas to help you get the most out of your coaching experience.
1. The value of coaching isn't based on how much time is spent coaching
The value of coaching depends on quality rather than quantity: when both you and your coach are fully engaged in the task and working hard then success should follow – it’s like going to the gym, going there doesn’t get results, it’s how hard you work on it while you’re there and what you do in the rest of your time.
2. Your coach is not responsible for solving your problems or achieving your goals
The coach is there to support, challenge, listen, stimulate, encourage, share feedback. They will also offer anything else in their tool kit to help you think better and to plan the changes that are important to you. Ultimately you are the one that has responsibility for your own work and life.
3. Your coach's job is to ask you for even more than you might normally ask of yourself
Getting outside of your comfort zone and being on the learning edge can sometimes be a little uncomfortable, but its where real change happens. Your coach wants the best for you and that is why they may challenge you to explore further or stretch yourself.
Your coach may well question the limits you set for yourself and encourage the setting of challenging goals and targets.
4. Coaching sessions are yours, so if you’d like your coach to work with you in a different way then discuss it with them
Coaches bring their own distinctive styles and personalities. As they get to know you a good coach will be looking to find a particular style(s) that suits you.
If you would like them to change their style; e.g. by being more or less direct/challenging, by moving at a faster/slower pace or by sharing more or less of their thinking and ideas with you, then letting them know will help facilitate that process faster. They will be happy for you to make such requests because their aim is to coach as effectively as possible for you.
5. The coach is your success partner, not an accountability service
Coaching will work best for you when you are actively seeking to get the best from yourself and when you take responsibility for your own growth and development.
6. The coaching session in itself is not what gets you results
Ultimately this is down to what you do and how you act after the coaching – what you put into practice. Coaching is there to help you to plan and prepare to get the best out of what you are doing.
7. Talk about what matters most to you
You are not there to conform to any expectation you feel your coach may have on you – and certainly not to please the coach in any way. Yours is the only agenda that counts and if it is important to you, your coach will work on it with you.
8. Focus on yourself
Clients can worry that coaching is somewhat self-indulgent - even a selfish luxury.
If you are unhappy, unfulfilled or frustrated in your work or blocked in some other way it’s unlikely that others will be getting the best from you. You are more effective if you are fulfilled, purposeful and operating to your fullest potential.
You can look at your coaching as a way of providing a positive boost to the people you work with and for.
9. Be open to seeing things differently
Frequently, the issues or situations you face are not in themselves the real problem! Often it is the way we see situations and how we think about them that facilitates change. Even when some of the issues we face are objectively daunting or difficult challenges, we can use coaching to open ourselves up to new ways of responding to them. Opening our thinking allows new possibilities for choice. Your coach can help you identify ways of seeing, thinking and responding that may offer you very different options and approaches.
10. Use your coaching to help you reflect on and design the kinds of environments and systems you want to work in.
We can all exercise some degree of choice or responsibility in creating the kind of environment we want to operate in. Even when organisations place apparent restrictions in our way, we can often exercise at least some discretion in the physical, social, professional and cultural contexts in which we work and live. By accepting reality exactly as it is now and challenging ourselves to manage the variables, we can control can impact our working environment.
11. Take charge
You are encouraged to take charge of the coaching process, to get it focused on what you most want and need. If you are able to come to a session with a direction in mind, perhaps a list of issues or questions you want to address, then the session will focus on this. Ultimately the more you know what you want out of your coaching the better. Your coach can then work with you to craft really specific and relevant goals for the coaching.
12. Be Real – say what you think
When what we say does not reflect what we are really thinking, we are incongruent. Coaching is not an abstract exercise or an intellectual joust but an opportunity to work together with your coach in a climate of shared honesty. When you are authentic it really helps to get the best out of your coach.
13. Only promise what you can deliver
Whilst your coach may encourage stretch and boldness it is important to be mindful of what is realistic and doable in the context of everything you are trying to do. Overextension can cause anxiety, guilt and stress. This is your process and your goals, so nothing is set in concrete. Life changes unexpectedly sometimes, so you can change your coaching goals or process to suit. Sometimes breaking things down in more manageable components and celebrating the smaller achievements is simply an easier way to move forward.
14. Share with others what you are doing with your coaching
People close to you may well see and feel the effect your coaching is having, either directly or indirectly. For some people this will create questions and even anxieties about the changes you are making. We would suggest that where possible you are open to others about what you are trying to do via your coaching. This will have the double benefit of including them and reaffirming your commitment to your goals/objectives.